Take Back Your Power!

I just found this email I sent to a dear friend a few years back as she was suffering through the pain of a loveless relationship and feeling deeply lost in her life. I’m posting it here in hopes it may help some of you too. – Christopher Spiewak

 

First…. I LOVE YOU!

Second…. Everything that is happening, is just happening. It’s meaning, its worth, its hurt, its chaos, its whatever you feel about it is being defined by YOU (not the situation). What you’re feeling is NOT something external. Not to discount the situation or everything that is happening as irrelevant, it’s not, but the point is… TAKE BACK YOUR POWER! Stop trying to find a way to turn the crumbs of the past into a meal in the future.

What do YOU want!?! How do you want to feel?! What would be the most compelling spectacular future you could imagine for yourself?! Do that. Be that. Live that. Maybe (likely, unquestionably) that complete compelling reality will take a LOT of work to manifest but just being on that path, that direction, towards your spectacular future will LIFT UP your present! And really, that’s the whole point… a better NOW.

The answers for the rest of everything you’re distressed about will become SO CLEAR when you know what you want. When you’ve committed to make it happen no matter what!! Everything that you think is the cause of the problems is NOT the problem. Every possible reason, story, excuse you can possibly rationalize as to WHY your situation is the way it is and/or why it can’t be the way you want is bullshit. ALL OF IT. Because it’s all about one thing, YOU. Your choices, Your fear, Your past, Your story, Your excuses!

Why are you playing so small? Why are you playing the victim to your own life?! How many days, months, years, decades are you gonna keep waking up to the same misery!? THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! And even [your son] who deserves everything you could possibly imagine for him can not come between YOU and YOU making YOUR life amazing for him! Know what I mean?!

Be. Do. Have.

Being starts with getting clear. Not moving crumbs of the past about the table. Start with the imagined. The amazing. The spectacular unrealized future that will, at just the thought of it, make your hair stand on end! Then work on BEING the person, the mom, the spirit it takes to be congruent with that possibility. It’s kinda crazy. You’ll have a vision that won’t even be possible as the person you are now but if that vision is compelling enough, it will literally shape you, lead you, transform you into the very person that will make that future a reality.

I guess the point of all this is THINK BIG, ACT HUGE, and move from Love, not fear. Your heart already knows EXACTLY what it needs. Stop for a minute (with just you) and listen to it. Go to [favorite place] leave your phone in the car and just walk through the woods. Just walk. It will all be so clear.

Third…. I LOVE YOU.

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Follow Your Heart – Quote of the day [146]

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart. Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. – Rumi

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Boston Marathon Bombings

We can fear more, distrust more, despair more, despise more, regulate more or face the fact that deep down the bomber(s) likely went far too long without the love, kindness, care and community that could have guided their hearts in a different direction. People aren’t born lost, suffering, deranged, misguided, murderous, they lose their way, along the way. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a “hello” that can transform someone’s day, week, life. So reach out to people. The strangers, the neighbors, the ones you would typically avoid. Especially the lonely, lost, sad, quiet, shy, introverted, isolated, awkward ones. They need our love, care, kindness, friendship and community the most. We are the ones who shape this world. Our actions matter. It’s not us against them. It’s us. Period. We have to be to the world what we want the world to be. I love you Boston. I miss you Boston. Gahhh this stuff breaks my heart.

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I Love You!

Dear World,

I love you. To everyone I don’t tell enough, I LOVE YOU. To everyone I’ve ever laughed with, I love you! To everyone that has been there for me through good and bad, I love you. For every late night phone call, early morning hike, soul saving hug, day changing smile, psyched high-five, heart breaking lesson, teary eyed goodbye, understanding empathy, wise guidance, brilliant advice and authentic reflection, inspiring conversations, spontaneous road trips, afternoon tea and holiday meals, for every thoughtful little nothing, whether a randomly fun moment a million years ago or for going above and beyond all the time, for anyone that has showed me that they care, that I matter, I love you.

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Being Beautiful – Quote of the day [139]

This one goes out to my dear friend Noëlle. She shared this quote with me just a week ago but this morning I saw the beautiful irony of it as she fretted about her scraped up external appearance following the 2nd day of her post bike-crash reality…. Tied to intravenous lines, cardiac monitors, pumps, drains, medicines, pain killers, internal bleeding, bruised, broken, dislocated, swollen, scraped, black-eyed, and hurting she was worrying about “not looking beautiful.” I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that to myself and to everyone around her, beautiful is exactly what her huge heart, big smile, and uplifting spirit already look like.

So I’m sending this one back to you pigtails……

 

“Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.” –Mark & Angel

P.S. Know that we’ll all be here for you through the worst of this because you freakin rock! Thank you for the reminder that…. “Beautiful People Do Not Just Happen.”

:)

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Quote of the day [130]

‎”Once we truly love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.” –

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Soulmate

I used to think a “soulmate” was someone I was destined to spend my life with. Someone I was intrinsically bound to with an infinite love, depth and connection that would simply transcend life and space and time (and arguments). But I learned through losing such a love, that a soulmate isn’t necessarily someone you spend your life with but rather, someone who, through good or bad, changes your very soul for life.

Through the deepest love and the darkest betrayal, my soulmate taught me the hardest, most lasting lessons of my life. And for that, I am forever grateful – x

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