Follow Your Heart – Quote of the day [146]


“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart. Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. – Rumi

follow-your-heart-do-what-you-love

Posted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

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Every amazing moment to come.


I once reached a point in my life so deep in heartache and suffering that I thought, aloud… “I would trade every amazing moment to come, to be free of this unbearable aching now.” It didn’t happen overnight, but it ultimately led me within half a thumb twitch of ending my own life.

The memory humbles me every day. Every amazing moment since. Every single time I wake up. Every single time I see the sun set, or a friend smile. Every time I eat a meal or hear a song or smell the rain or feel the sun on my face. Every day, all around me a million amazing moments unfold and not a single one, even the most mundane (or unwelcome), would have been worth the trade I nearly made that day.

It seems so obvious now. So simple. So clear. Life rocks! So what the heck am I rambling about? Well I didn’t intend to write about suicide today, but if you’re on the cusp of it, know fully that you are also on the cusp of something remarkable… a new beginning, a new love for life, far beyond anything you have ever imagined possible. A life that wouldn’t even be possible without the sadness that now engulfs you. For as crazy as it sounds, that unbearably broken, lonely, lost, hopeless, aching, heartbroken, devastated place… is pure magic. It’s pure gift. It doesn’t matter if it took you days or decades to reach such depths, if you hold on, if you carry through, if you bear the unbearable, there is a life ahead for you that is pure joy.

I know how impossible this may seem to you now. When I was there, nothing mattered. Living was suffering. Life was unbearable. I ached for everything to just stop. To end. My eyes were raw with months of tears. The anguish in my soul would literally fold me over in pain. The lucky moments in between I was numb, fully abandoned to any desire for life or love or food or friends or breath. And when I made it through the worst of it, the months/years that followed dealt a hand so excessively inequitable that it capped off the suffering with utter personal, professional and financial annihilation (some of it still present in my life).

So I’m not here to tell you it’s gonna be easy. I’m here to tell you it’s gonna be worth it. Every horrible bit of it.

No matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes you, DON’T EVER GIVE UP ON YOU! You made it this far for a reason! I don’t care if you have to crawl your way out, cry your way out, fight your way out, learn your way out, or abandon everything you’ve ever known, been or believed, DO IT! If you’re looking for a sign THIS IS IT. You Matter. Your life matters. Your soul, your heart, your untapped incredible being matters!

This stuff isn’t easy but sometimes the lowest moments in life are the greatest ones, like on a big trampoline, it’s the moment before you blast into the sky!!

Ya just gotta keep bouncing. Much love <3

Christopher Spiewak Amazing Colorado Sunset Photo Eldorado Canyon 2013

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Boston Marathon Bombings


We can fear more, distrust more, despair more, despise more, regulate more or face the fact that deep down the bomber(s) likely went far too long without the love, kindness, care and community that could have guided their hearts in a different direction. People aren’t born lost, suffering, deranged, misguided, murderous, they lose their way, along the way. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a “hello” that can transform someone’s day, week, life. So reach out to people. The strangers, the neighbors, the ones you would typically avoid. Especially the lonely, lost, sad, quiet, shy, introverted, isolated, awkward ones. They need our love, care, kindness, friendship and community the most. We are the ones who shape this world. Our actions matter. It’s not us against them. It’s us. Period. We have to be to the world what we want the world to be. I love you Boston. I miss you Boston. Gahhh this stuff breaks my heart.

Boston Marathon Bombing Love

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Attack The Hills!!


I remember a college running coach who used to say “ATTACK THE HILLS” because they’re always gonna be harder and you’ll never make up for the time you lose. It just hit me that THAT is a brilliant metaphor for life! At least for my life, as I think for years I’ve been walkin the hills in life and bullshitting myself into believing I’ll run them later. I’ve been subconsciously thinking I’d make up for my lack of discipline, focus, mastery, etc in the future. But when the future comes I’m still walkin (or at best sprinting the flats and buying a book about running the hills). But clearly those areas where I constantly fumble and fail are the areas where I truly need to play full out! Those are the areas I need to give all my will, all my strength, all my integrity, all my heart, all the time! Those are the areas that are always gonna be harder, that are always gonna challenge me. Those are my hills and it’s time to ATTACK!!

christopher-spiewak-attack-the-hills

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Ironies of Life – Quote of the day [145]

I Love You!


Dear World,

I love you. To everyone I don’t tell enough, I LOVE YOU. To everyone I’ve ever laughed with, I love you! To everyone that has been there for me through good and bad, I love you. For every late night phone call, early morning hike, soul saving hug, day changing smile, psyched high-five, heart breaking lesson, teary eyed goodbye, understanding empathy, wise guidance, brilliant advice and authentic reflection, inspiring conversations, spontaneous road trips, afternoon tea and holiday meals, for every thoughtful little nothing, whether a randomly fun moment a million years ago or for going above and beyond all the time, for anyone that has showed me that they care, that I matter, I love you.

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Quote of the day [144]

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