Take Back Your Power!

I just found this email I sent to a dear friend a few years back as she was suffering through the pain of a loveless relationship and feeling deeply lost in her life. I’m posting it here in hopes it may help some of you too. – Christopher Spiewak

 

First…. I LOVE YOU!

Second…. Everything that is happening, is just happening. It’s meaning, its worth, its hurt, its chaos, its whatever you feel about it is being defined by YOU (not the situation). What you’re feeling is NOT something external. Not to discount the situation or everything that is happening as irrelevant, it’s not, but the point is… TAKE BACK YOUR POWER! Stop trying to find a way to turn the crumbs of the past into a meal in the future.

What do YOU want!?! How do you want to feel?! What would be the most compelling spectacular future you could imagine for yourself?! Do that. Be that. Live that. Maybe (likely, unquestionably) that complete compelling reality will take a LOT of work to manifest but just being on that path, that direction, towards your spectacular future will LIFT UP your present! And really, that’s the whole point… a better NOW.

The answers for the rest of everything you’re distressed about will become SO CLEAR when you know what you want. When you’ve committed to make it happen no matter what!! Everything that you think is the cause of the problems is NOT the problem. Every possible reason, story, excuse you can possibly rationalize as to WHY your situation is the way it is and/or why it can’t be the way you want is bullshit. ALL OF IT. Because it’s all about one thing, YOU. Your choices, Your fear, Your past, Your story, Your excuses!

Why are you playing so small? Why are you playing the victim to your own life?! How many days, months, years, decades are you gonna keep waking up to the same misery!? THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! And even [your son] who deserves everything you could possibly imagine for him can not come between YOU and YOU making YOUR life amazing for him! Know what I mean?!

Be. Do. Have.

Being starts with getting clear. Not moving crumbs of the past about the table. Start with the imagined. The amazing. The spectacular unrealized future that will, at just the thought of it, make your hair stand on end! Then work on BEING the person, the mom, the spirit it takes to be congruent with that possibility. It’s kinda crazy. You’ll have a vision that won’t even be possible as the person you are now but if that vision is compelling enough, it will literally shape you, lead you, transform you into the very person that will make that future a reality.

I guess the point of all this is THINK BIG, ACT HUGE, and move from Love, not fear. Your heart already knows EXACTLY what it needs. Stop for a minute (with just you) and listen to it. Go to [favorite place] leave your phone in the car and just walk through the woods. Just walk. It will all be so clear.

Third…. I LOVE YOU.

Posted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog

Courage – Quote of the day [150]

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.” – Brené Brown

Posted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog

Random Acts Of Kindness 2014!

Hey WordPress Community!

So I have a plan and a question for you… What are some of the sweetest, caring most touching, inspiring or compassionate “random acts of kindness” for helping others that you know of?! I have an intention of doing 365 days of anonymous giving (love, time, care, money, etc) to the world so I’m looking for creative, caring, loving simple & elaborate ideas!

I’ve got a bunch of ideas already, there are a bunch more all over the web but I would love to hear some truly creative, inspired or loving ideas (no matter how simple or elaborate) that you may be willing to share in the comments below. Thanks and Happy 2014!

Posted via Christopher Spiewak’s WordPress Blog

Follow Your Heart – Quote of the day [146]

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart. Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. – Rumi

Posted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Boston Marathon Bombings

We can fear more, distrust more, despair more, despise more, regulate more or face the fact that deep down the bomber(s) likely went far too long without the love, kindness, care and community that could have guided their hearts in a different direction. People aren’t born lost, suffering, deranged, misguided, murderous, they lose their way, along the way. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a “hello” that can transform someone’s day, week, life. So reach out to people. The strangers, the neighbors, the ones you would typically avoid. Especially the lonely, lost, sad, quiet, shy, introverted, isolated, awkward ones. They need our love, care, kindness, friendship and community the most. We are the ones who shape this world. Our actions matter. It’s not us against them. It’s us. Period. We have to be to the world what we want the world to be. I love you Boston. I miss you Boston. Gahhh this stuff breaks my heart.

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

I Love You!

Dear World,

I love you. To everyone I don’t tell enough, I LOVE YOU. To everyone I’ve ever laughed with, I love you! To everyone that has been there for me through good and bad, I love you. For every late night phone call, early morning hike, soul saving hug, day changing smile, psyched high-five, heart breaking lesson, teary eyed goodbye, understanding empathy, wise guidance, brilliant advice and authentic reflection, inspiring conversations, spontaneous road trips, afternoon tea and holiday meals, for every thoughtful little nothing, whether a randomly fun moment a million years ago or for going above and beyond all the time, for anyone that has showed me that they care, that I matter, I love you.

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Is it time? Saying Goodbye.

I used to think that when you love someone you stand by them no matter what. That you endure the worst treatment they can dish out. That you endure lies, selfishness, hypocrisy, lacking integrity and decaying values.

With intimate relationships, I used to think love meant enduring even worse…. enduring cheating, shaming, criticizing, embarrassment, isolation, intimidation, psychological & financial manipulation, etc. It never happens overnight. The people we care for slowly reveal themselves or slowly evolve on paths so far out of alignment with our own that we are equally slow to respond. Often by the time we recognize the relationship for what it truly is, we are fully lost in our own right (often adding our own dysfunction and crumbling character to the situation).

That was the case in my last intimate relationship (over two years ago) but I’ve come to realize it’s also the case in one of my dearest friendships. In this case I’m not lost, far from it. In fact thanks to the traumatic end to that last relationship and the intense personal growth that perpetually ensued, I’m no longer able to get “lost” enough to enable any situation to exist (or continue for long) that doesn’t align with my values.

The sad part is that the growth, that comes with facing and saying goodbye to our own failings, often means saying goodbye to the people who are no longer in alignment with our evolving (hopefully for the better) character. For me this reality has empowered me to finally bow out of one my dearest colorado friendships (a friend who was the inspiration for my last post “Solstice Bullshit“). It’s a goodbye bound with a true sadness, but also a true happiness as it deeply realigns me with my own values, self respect and personal integrity.

Who, is it time for you to say goodbye to?

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.