Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Take Back Your Power!

I just found this email I sent to a dear friend a few years back as she was suffering through the pain of a loveless relationship and feeling deeply lost in her life. I’m posting it here in hopes it may help some of you too. – Christopher Spiewak


First…. I LOVE YOU!

Second…. Everything that is happening, is just happening. It’s meaning, its worth, its hurt, its chaos, its whatever you feel about it is being defined by YOU (not the situation). What you’re feeling is NOT something external. Not to discount the situation or everything that is happening as irrelevant, it’s not, but the point is… TAKE BACK YOUR POWER! Stop trying to find a way to turn the crumbs of the past into a meal in the future.

What do YOU want!?! How do you want to feel?! What would be the most compelling spectacular future you could imagine for yourself?! Do that. Be that. Live that. Maybe (likely, unquestionably) that complete compelling reality will take a LOT of work to manifest but just being on that path, that direction, towards your spectacular future will LIFT UP your present! And really, that’s the whole point… a better NOW.

The answers for the rest of everything you’re distressed about will become SO CLEAR when you know what you want. When you’ve committed to make it happen no matter what!! Everything that you think is the cause of the problems is NOT the problem. Every possible reason, story, excuse you can possibly rationalize as to WHY your situation is the way it is and/or why it can’t be the way you want is bullshit. ALL OF IT. Because it’s all about one thing, YOU. Your choices, Your fear, Your past, Your story, Your excuses!

Why are you playing so small? Why are you playing the victim to your own life?! How many days, months, years, decades are you gonna keep waking up to the same misery!? THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! And even [your son] who deserves everything you could possibly imagine for him can not come between YOU and YOU making YOUR life amazing for him! Know what I mean?!

Be. Do. Have.

Being starts with getting clear. Not moving crumbs of the past about the table. Start with the imagined. The amazing. The spectacular unrealized future that will, at just the thought of it, make your hair stand on end! Then work on BEING the person, the mom, the spirit it takes to be congruent with that possibility. It’s kinda crazy. You’ll have a vision that won’t even be possible as the person you are now but if that vision is compelling enough, it will literally shape you, lead you, transform you into the very person that will make that future a reality.

I guess the point of all this is THINK BIG, ACT HUGE, and move from Love, not fear. Your heart already knows EXACTLY what it needs. Stop for a minute (with just you) and listen to it. Go to [favorite place] leave your phone in the car and just walk through the woods. Just walk. It will all be so clear.

Third…. I LOVE YOU.

take-back-your-power-girlPosted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog


All Lives Matter – Saving the Turtle

Saving the Turtle #AllLivesMatter – Christopher Spiewak, Boulder Colorado.

Somewhere in West(ern) Virginia, long before maps live streamed to the screens in our hands, I was happily lost with a love on a road in the late summer rain. Hands intertwined, bare feet out the window, toes tapping to a late summer mix tape (yes an actual analog cassette tape) with it seemed, not a care in the world. Of course we hoped we were heading at least somewhat in the right direction but in that moment we were rollin at a care free pace.

A pace just slow enough to notice a munchkin little turtle at the edge of the pavement. It didn’t take us long to realize he was aiming to make his way across the road and that he might not make it if we didn’t turn around to help. So we pulled a squealing u-turn with our swelling superhero intentions, high-fiving vegans to the rescue!!

But that 180 did little more than to align our eyes, in perfect timing, with the giant wheeled monster truck, complete with twin confederate flags, as stereotypically trimmed out, muddy and howling as any “redneck truck” could be, cutting all the way across the opposing lane just to crush that little turtle at the edge of the road. Game over.

I’ve thought of that moment many times in my life. Soul perplexed as to HOW that intentionally savage and utterly remorseless way of being is, was, and will likely always be at the heart of some people. Beyond their momentary howling and laughter they probably never thought of that little turtle again. But I still wonder, where does that violence begin? Where does it end?

In part, I believe it’s innate to our being but no more influential on our actions than the shape of our nose or the color of our skin. In other words that violence (or kindness) is instilled into our character from our earliest experiences by the words and actions of the people around us. It may not be obvious at first… a bug doesn’t matter, a bird doesn’t matter, a pig doesn’t matter, a person doesn’t matter. There is no magic formula but in general… teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child (and the world) as it is to the caterpillar.

I’m not one to preach about not eating animals, but there’s no escaping the fact Violence begets Violence. Kindness begets Kindness. The longer I’ve been veg*an the more sensitive I’ve become to all suffering; To the point where even the stray spider gets gently set outside. Imagine a world where people didn’t squash spiders, turtles or people? I truly believe it starts with each meal. Every bite. The further we all get from accepting death, causing death, eating death (aka literally becoming made of death), the further we get from the darkness in the world and in ourselves.

A world in which truly ALL Lives Matter.


Posted via Christopher Spiewak’s WordPress Blog

Every amazing moment to come.

I once reached a point in my life so deep in heartache and suffering that I thought, aloud… “I would trade every amazing moment to come, to be free of this unbearable aching now.” It didn’t happen overnight, but it ultimately led me within half a thumb twitch of ending my own life.

The memory humbles me every day. Every amazing moment since. Every single time I wake up. Every single time I see the sun set, or a friend smile. Every time I eat a meal or hear a song or smell the rain or feel the sun on my face. Every day, all around me a million amazing moments unfold and not a single one, even the most mundane (or unwelcome), would have been worth the trade I nearly made that day.

It seems so obvious now. So simple. So clear. Life rocks! So what the heck am I rambling about? Well I didn’t intend to write about suicide today, but if you’re on the cusp of it, know fully that you are also on the cusp of something remarkable… a new beginning, a new love for life, far beyond anything you have ever imagined possible. A life that wouldn’t even be possible without the sadness that now engulfs you. For as crazy as it sounds, that unbearably broken, lonely, lost, hopeless, aching, heartbroken, devastated place… is pure magic. It’s pure gift. It doesn’t matter if it took you days or decades to reach such depths, if you hold on, if you carry through, if you bear the unbearable, there is a life ahead for you that is pure joy.

I know how impossible this may seem to you now. When I was there, nothing mattered. Living was suffering. Life was unbearable. I ached for everything to just stop. To end. My eyes were raw with months of tears. The anguish in my soul would literally fold me over in pain. The lucky moments in between I was numb, fully abandoned to any desire for life or love or food or friends or breath. And when I made it through the worst of it, the months/years that followed dealt a hand so excessively inequitable that it capped off the suffering with utter personal, professional and financial annihilation (some of it still present in my life).

So I’m not here to tell you it’s gonna be easy. I’m here to tell you it’s gonna be worth it. Every horrible bit of it.

No matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes you, DON’T EVER GIVE UP ON YOU! You made it this far for a reason! I don’t care if you have to crawl your way out, cry your way out, fight your way out, learn your way out, or abandon everything you’ve ever known, been or believed, DO IT! If you’re looking for a sign THIS IS IT. You Matter. Your life matters. Your soul, your heart, your untapped incredible being matters!

This stuff isn’t easy but sometimes the lowest moments in life are the greatest ones, like on a big trampoline, it’s the moment before you blast into the sky!!

Ya just gotta keep bouncing. Much love <3

Christopher Spiewak Amazing Colorado Sunset Photo Eldorado Canyon 2013

Posted via Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Boston Marathon Bombings

We can fear more, distrust more, despair more, despise more, regulate more or face the fact that deep down the bomber(s) likely went far too long without the love, kindness, care and community that could have guided their hearts in a different direction. People aren’t born lost, suffering, deranged, misguided, murderous, they lose their way, along the way. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a “hello” that can transform someone’s day, week, life. So reach out to people. The strangers, the neighbors, the ones you would typically avoid. Especially the lonely, lost, sad, quiet, shy, introverted, isolated, awkward ones. They need our love, care, kindness, friendship and community the most. We are the ones who shape this world. Our actions matter. It’s not us against them. It’s us. Period. We have to be to the world what we want the world to be. I love you Boston. I miss you Boston. Gahhh this stuff breaks my heart.

Boston Marathon Bombing Love

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Attack The Hills!!

I remember a college running coach who used to say “ATTACK THE HILLS” because they’re always gonna be harder and you’ll never make up for the time you lose. It just hit me that THAT is a brilliant metaphor for life! At least for my life, as I think for years I’ve been walkin the hills in life and bullshitting myself into believing I’ll run them later. I’ve been subconsciously thinking I’d make up for my lack of discipline, focus, mastery, etc in the future. But when the future comes I’m still walkin (or at best sprinting the flats and buying a book about running the hills). But clearly those areas where I constantly fumble and fail are the areas where I truly need to play full out! Those are the areas I need to give all my will, all my strength, all my integrity, all my heart, all the time! Those are the areas that are always gonna be harder, that are always gonna challenge me. Those are my hills and it’s time to ATTACK!!


Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

Ironies of Life – Quote of the day [145]

I Love You!

Dear World,

I love you. To everyone I don’t tell enough, I LOVE YOU. To everyone I’ve ever laughed with, I love you! To everyone that has been there for me through good and bad, I love you. For every late night phone call, early morning hike, soul saving hug, day changing smile, psyched high-five, heart breaking lesson, teary eyed goodbye, understanding empathy, wise guidance, brilliant advice and authentic reflection, inspiring conversations, spontaneous road trips, afternoon tea and holiday meals, for every thoughtful little nothing, whether a randomly fun moment a million years ago or for going above and beyond all the time, for anyone that has showed me that they care, that I matter, I love you.

Posted by Christopher Spiewak‘s WordPress Blog.

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