My grandmother is 90 years old and still going strong! Ok maybe not as strong as usual but following some recent time in the hospital, she’s still rather psyched about life and looking forward to “feeling better and getting back to the gym!”
Her excitement about connecting with her friends and working out really struck me in a number of ways. It seems it was just a few years back she was saying: “I’m too old to get on a treadmill or to start working out” and she also wasn’t one to reach out to “make new friends at her age” but following some heart surgery she found some life or death inspiration to begin.
By stepping out of her comfort zone she quickly discovered the very thing she never thought she could do, became the best part of her day. She got healthier, stronger, more independent and made a number of new friends that continue to inspire her and give her more to look forward to each week. So much, that her current inability to see them and workout is her inspiration to get better yet again!
It seemed in a few words she had imparted a great deal of wisdom, along the lines of….
• Do one thing everyday that you’re afraid of!
• Step out of your comfort zone and discover the best parts of your life!
• Always open your heart to new people and the unexpected connections!
• Never stop challenging yourself to grow, change, improve or renew!
• Never take your health for granted “use it while you got it.”
• You’re never too old and it’s never too late begin, again!
• Never say never!
I’m sure you all have some of your own “Grandma Wisdom” to share so I would love to hear about the comfort zones you had to step out of to discover the the best parts of your life!?!
It seems everyone is trying to fix me up with someone lately.
It’s a good feeling to have so many friends wanting to connect me with the ones they care for, so I’m ALWAYS appreciative of the intention but somehow still, it just feels unnatural to me. Not that I’m truly opposed to the idea or couldn’t imagine it possible to meet someone amazing through a friend’s cupid efforts, it’s just that I’ve always felt, with love, you just sorta let it happen.
I suppose too the fact I’ve spent most of 2010 healing from the hurt, betrayal & loss of my last partner/fiancée (and her son) has also made me very quick to shy away from anyone new. But this has also been an amazing year in the most unexpected of ways so I don’t want to underestimate the exponential power of intention!
So on that note I’ve decided to share something (very personal) that I created 6-7 years ago. It was a list I made when I first moved to Boulder that summarized some of the qualities I hoped for in a partner. Not surprisingly the few times I’ve shared this with people (or partners) it was quickly ridiculed and criticized. Either they became defensive about what they were or weren’t on the list, or they stated (what seemed obvious to me when I was creating it) that “no one could be all that” or that “people aren’t lists!”
OF COURSE no one’s a list. And no one’s “Perfect” and just like any effort to play cupid, the list is equally ineffective at predicting who I’m gonna fall for. I’ve realized since I created it, that I can fall head over heals for someone that is essentially nothing good on the list as easily as I can find entirely zero interest in someone that is everything amazing! REAL love, desire or attraction is simply too unexplainable to attempt to make any sense of it.
But the whole point in creating it wasn’t to hold anyone up to some point by point checklist but to have more clarity in my own heart about what would be “ideal” in a partner. Of course there’s no perfect person, we all have flaws, shortcomings, vulnerabilities, insecurities, and many qualities that are far from “ideal” but the more we become aware of what we hope to find in others, the more we can strive to become more of those qualities ourselves. Sure I don’t wish to be with someone that doesn’t embody honesty, kindness, gratitude, sincerity, etc but at the end of the day, I just hope to be with someone that is more light than dark.
Anyhow, I’m still astonished that I’m actually publishing this, especially considering the way it was received in the past but I’m also realizing that there’s simply no sense in keeping what is, at heart, a good intention from the world. There really isn’t any particular order to the items but they all somehow add up to some spot in my heart/soul that fits.
P.S. I highly recommend going through this process yourself, but once you have, don’t be the fool that I was by ignoring the values & qualities that are most important to you!
[Christopher Spiewak] September 1st 2010
WHOA it’s September 1st!! And that makes the past 12 months truly the most unbelievable year of my life! Last September 1st I was moving. I packed my home, I packed my stuff but apparently I didn’t pack my heart because that new start didn’t really begin until I moved again 5 months later.
Truly it’s taken a year to realize with clarity, the meaning, purpose and lessons in everything that transpired. It’s honestly surreal to feel so much gratitude for such a painful experience. I may have always known intellectually that there were lessons to learn but it took actually living though it and ultimately growing far beyond it before it all became profoundly clear.
I guess the point in all this is to suggest that if you ever find yourself in a difficult or challenging situation, especially a truly painful or overwhelming one, just keep on moving forward and have faith in the fact that it may take a while for the lessons to unfold. Also, be sure to have plenty of patience in the timing because if your experience was as painful as mine it may take a while to really heal to the point where there is enough of YOU at hand to truly embody your hard earned wisdom.
Wherever your at in your life… Much Love.